i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
