Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
