I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
