My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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