ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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