Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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