Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You've changed since you got that strap on
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
