Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
