hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
