I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
