Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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