Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
