I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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