Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
