you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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