i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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