So drunk its hurt
if i can run in heels then i can drive
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
