The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
