My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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