I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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