so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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