Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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