is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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