I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
