Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
