oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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