any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
