I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
