She said her name was "party"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
