Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
