Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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