Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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