party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
