Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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