I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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