she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
