I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
