she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
