with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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