She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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