Define "chronic" masturbator.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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