the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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