i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
