so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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