The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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