So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize