...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
