Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
