Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Holy shit dude........stairs
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
