it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
