just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
