Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
